The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
