note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Send help, water and tortillas.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
