i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
now i know why i became what i already was.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Found the puke drawer
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
