Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
