I must be too annoying 4 u.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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