after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
