I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
