thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
