Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
