U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
