Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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