Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
