i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
