i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
