The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The air taste purple.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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