How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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