so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
