I wannas sexs uuuuu
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
