Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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