Is it normal to miss your booty call?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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