what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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