physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
