I think im going to throw up on grandma
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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