HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So. Much. Porn.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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