The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
