okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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