Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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