I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
