We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is it because I queefed?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
