I wanna passion pit in your ass
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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