Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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