Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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