we're blogging at a bar
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
