Porn is love you can see.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
