wat bout pragnant strippers??
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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