would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
