Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
