New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
