It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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