He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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