with your own penis?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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