Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
