I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
