did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
