woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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