I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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