Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
