dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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