My brain says no but my pants say off.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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