I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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